Forgetting Yourself to Find Yourself!

• 17 Oct 2017

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People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates. — Thomas Szasz

I knew something was off. Caught in the midst of a busy job, family responsibilities and “life happening,” I was drifting away from the man I had become. Maybe you’ve been there too. This is what happens when we forget the progress we’ve made. Let’s face it — if you’re looking to take big steps in your life, you have to have a memory. To move forward, you want to know where you’ve been, so you can get to your destination.

You’re looking to consolidate your gains. Only a crazy person would invest time, energy — true sweat equity — into something only to abandon it for no good reason. I’d come so far in getting into a daily regimen of writing, coaching and moving forward toward publishing my first book. Then, family and job duties called. Next thing I knew, I was in the vicious cycle of life.

When you’re there, you realize that like a hamster on a wheel, it’s hard to slow down. We tend to rely exclusively on the left-side of our brains, with little regard for the creativity, imagination and gifts of wonder that illuminate our thoughts and dreams. In other words — we’re focused on process and tasks, not what we love.

The 4 Phases

When you’re not doing what you love — what God put you here to do — your life is not in rhythm. What should be easy becomes difficult. For most of us, the biggest challenge in our personal development is finding — then doing that thing we’re meant to do.

But know that once you get there, it’s about staying there and locking in what you’ve already learned — what you’ve already done. See, progress is multi-faceted. For one thing, it’s spiritual. How? We come to peace of mind with our place in the universe and how the pieces in our lives connect. A great example of this is our acceptance of our place in life. No matter how much we may yearn to reach our dream, we have to know there’s a time and place for everything.

Spiritually, we have to accept that the plans of the universe are often not what we envision in our minds. You may want to become the next CEO of a breakthrough mobile app company, but it may not be your time yet. You may not be ready, even though you think you are. That doesn’t mean you quit and adopt a bad attitude. It means you keep going, but accept your place at that time.

Mentally, if we’re paying close attention and living our life by a code of values, we know when we’ve made strides. We know because if we’re smart, we’ve made plans and we’re working on them everyday. We’re working through adversity, distractions and successes. Mentally, our cognition should be attuned with tracking and keeping record of where we want to be and where we want to go.

Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That’s because they were able to connect experiences they’ve had and synthesize new things. — Steve Jobs

Physically, the will to keep going is real. It’s the rise at the beginning of each day. We have to become addicted to the end goal while appreciating the journey and using that as our motivation to keep going. We can’t only live in our minds and in our imaginations. We need to physically be present and willing to put ourselves out there.

Emotionally, we’re going to get hurt. We’re going to have highs and lows. This is the part in life most people aren’t prepared for, because most people aren’t prepared to get knocked down on their asses. Heck, I wasn’t. But thinking back to some of my spectacular failures and mistakes, I now recognize that it’s how I’ve persevered emotionally that has mattered in the end.

Breaking up with my girlfriend, only to rebuild my life and find her again. Boy, did those wounds sting. But it kept getting better. Getting fired from my job, only to rebuild my professional life, work ethic, emotional framework and resolve to jump start my entrepreneurial and professoinal career? The best thing that ever happened to me for future success.

It’s crazy. Getting knocked down is the best thing that can happen to you as long as you promise yourself you’ll get back up — and never give up.

What about you? Where are you going? Where have you been. What are you doing about it? I guarantee you you’ve made more progress than you think. How are you going to lock in those gains? How are you going to ensure that the imprint of your identity, which has been left on the lives of others, and your own, will continue to push on, even when setbacks, distractions and adversity strikes?

Why would we ever do anything if we’re just going to forget why we did it? Remember where you are. Remember where you’ve been. Don’t ever think that progress you’ve made on your journey has been in vain. You can always build off of the foundation you’ve created. These are your values. These are your wins and lessons learned. Use them to your advantage to propel yourself in the direction of the life you desire.